Gay Adult Man Coming Out In This Silly World
A gay man coming out will see that it is a very silly world out there, the mere fact of coming out, punches this world right on the nose.
These problems can be large but not insurmountable as accepted cultural norms are challenged. These supposed norms encompass social, cultural and religious precepts, and causes a premise for confusion.
Your nearest and dearest may say they understand, and they in all honesty probably do understand, it is accepting that is the big problem. They may even be affected by your announcement, to the point of acting camp around you, in a feeble attempt to make you feel “fine” about it. Be gentle with them, they know not what they do!
People are also silly, and you need to understand that they are afraid, actually they are shit scared by your announcement. Coming out is a brave step to take, it is the first step in the journey of a lifetime, and many lesser mortals may never dare to do this. Just understand that not everyone is as heroic as you, and respect yourself for your actions.
“Coming out”, successfully then, according to these in-place social structures; requests that you behave “queer”, literally. This is not true! Adopting “gay behaviour” as opposed to retaining “straight behaviour”, is not an absolute requirement, unless it comes naturally to you.
When you play the field you may find that gay men enjoy meeting gay men who act straight, it gives you an extra “butch” aspect which may work in your favour. The idea is to be yourself, however being your new self around those who know and love you may just require a little bit of extra tact.
Nothing can be done to change the fact that you are gay, you were made this way, by god, or whatever. You have to live with this truth, and nothing can change it.
One of the BIG questions you may have to deal with, with your family is “why?”. You have obviously soul searched before coming out, so you have already answered this for yourself. However your family may want to know the self same thing and it is simpler for you to have a prepared answer. Something to the effect of, “People don’t ask why straight, people are straight, that’s just the way it is, they shouldn’t be asking why I am gay”.
Remember that even in this very silly world, homosexuality isn’t illegal, at least not in sane countries.
A good idea would be to also seek some kind of support in the gay community. Something fun like “Pride Parades” ! It is important to enjoy coming out and embrace your sexuality. Remember Freud said “the only abnormal sex is no sex”.
